To be a Planner

Scamp very kindly linked to me this week, which is a big compliment.

In the post that contained the link (along with links to Charles and Neil‘s superb blogs), an anonymous wag penned a comment headed ‘a guide to planning’ which made me chuckle so much I had to reproduce it here (I hope anonymous is cool with this – please let me know who you are and I’ll happily give the appropriate credit!).

In all its glory:

1) Simply disagree with what the last person just said. Whatever it is.
2) Talk with utter conviction despite what you say being nothing more than ill-informed opinion based on personal taste & experience (actually this applies to all advertising disciplines).
3) Wear glasses.
4) Say the word “Digital” a lot.
5) Always say something in a meeting. Preferably the word “Digital.”
6) Steeple your hands together in front of you when someone else talks.
7) “Win” arguments in meetings by talking louder and for a longer time than the person you disagree with.

Thoughts? Anything that’s been missed? (I’m thinking something about Moleskins….)

My wife seems to think much of this applies to me – I’m not quite sure how to take it 🙂

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8 Responses to “To be a Planner”

  1. Will Says:

    I’d add to the glasses point – to achieve true planning nirvana, they have to be massive glasses. No silly ordinary Specsavers sort, oh no.

    They have to be a pair that are so arresting, the person looking at you can’t have a rational conversation with you or anyone in the room.

    Definitely something about Moleskins needs to be in there – perhaps a mention of ‘brand’ something or other – be it pyramid or rhombus or whatever.

    Finally, speaking in long, drawn out analogies that don’t really make sense. Got to have the last one. Dovetails nicely onto anon’s point about pretending to know what you are talking about.

    With those completed, true planner wisdom can be attained..

  2. Rozza Says:

    Surely mentioning one’s own blog on every out breath is another prerequisite…

  3. Amelia Says:

    Oh dear – very funny! But maybe a bit too close to home for comfort…

    I am not sure if Planners over-use the word Digital, but I do think that I/we have been known to over-use the following words: Insight, Interesting, Blogs, Facebook, Ning

  4. FishNChimps Says:

    supplement 4 with a small pot you carry with you containing little slips of paper with words such as “paradigm”, “futurology” and “contagious” on them.

  5. Greg Says:

    You can learn a lot from that bloke mate.

    As an addition to your last post on Ian Curtis, I’ve just had a Q&A session with his cohort Peter Hook. He was brilliant and talked enthusiastically about the Hacienda and all things Manchestoh. Apparently he doesn’t remember much from 86 to 96. Cool.

    You might be interested to find out he hates Leeds more than Liverpool.

  6. Doug Says:

    what? where? how!!!???

  7. neilperkin Says:

    You’re rapidly becoming a campaign regular :o)

  8. Che Guerilla Says:

    Actually, I saw this post in Campaign Magazine. great

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